Saturday, July 25, 2009

My Confused Letter


Dear Girl Who Asked Me to Move at the Head Automatica Show Last Night,

First, let me start off by saying this is not going to be an angry letter. You were both polite and patient, and did not pull any lame shit whatsoever. You did confuse me, though. Let me explain.

As the show began, and as it continued, the room was only half full. Most of the people were crammed towards the stage, becoming more and more spread out as it got back to the middle of the room. My friends and I were standing in the middle of the room towards the right a bit. I have included an expert diagram.
I spent the entire show in that one spot, and I danced it up. I danced so hard, that I may have hurt myself! My point in saying so is that I was clearly there. I'm a big guy, I'm jumping up and down, flailing, jerking my body all over the place. You saw me. It was known I was there. No secrets.

After roughly an hour of standing in that spot, I decided to run to the mens room to tinkle. I was in that room for approximately one minute. I would dare to argue that I only left my night-long spot for roughly two minutes, tops! After tinklage, I returned to the exact same spot I had left.

3 minutes later, you came up to me. "Excuse me tall dude, but you just stood right in my line of sight, and now I can't see anything." What the shit?

I responded also kindly, indicating I was merely standing next to my friends. I offered that I would move left and you could move right and it would be a compromise. You accepted this.

But seriously, what the shit. I was in that fucking spot all night. I left for two minutes. I come back, and I'm in your line of sight? THERE WERE PRACTICALLY NO PEOPLE BEHIND ME. YOU COULD EASILY MOVE WITHOUT EVEN A SMALL AMOUNT OF INCONVENIENCE. NO PUSHING OR SHOVING REQUIRED. Did you show up in that two minutes that I went to piss and claim the spot directly behind me? Did you not notice the huge guy jumping around in front of you for an hour? I'm so confused.

Let me point out that you were pretty short. I know it must suck to be short and go to shows, what with all the tall people in your way and blocking your view. In fact, this is one reason why I stand in the middle of crowds. My mission at shows is to have the best time possible without ruining anyone else's time there. I dance around, but only in my spot. I don't stand in the front row so I don't block tons of people's views. And yet, even with these concessions, you still decided that after an hour and ten minutes of show, I had stepped on your line of sight.

What the shit.

Signed,
Not mad just fucking confused Todd.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Frustration! Wonderment! Meat!

Frustration: I HATE GIVING MY PARENTS TECH SUPPORT. OMFG. I WISH THERE WERE MORE ANGRY ACRONYMS I COULD TYPE OUT IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I'M THAT F'ING PISSED.

Sorry about the caps. Shit drives me nuts! Its a combination of borderline ignorance to all things technological with normal family frustration which is multiplied by the fact that my family's fuckin' nuts! LASDFIAEJLASJDFKASJFKLWILJASKDF. Shenanigans.

Wonderment!
Last night I went on an emergency 1am bike ride. It was great. Cooler air, empty roads and sidewalks to almost kill myself on, and an excuse to say I worked out yesterday. Marvelous.

Also filed under wonderment: human beings. Seriously. We can be amazing sometimes. We can take some of the most extreme physical and mental stress and come out alive on the other end. Good Job, God. You designed a pretty amazing product, and I would like to invest.

My dearest mother sent my roommates and I Omaha steaks to thank us for putting her up while she visited. She's pretty awesome. I am starving and want to devour some steak. However, it must wait till tonight.

I'll see ya next time...

{Reading Rainbow!}

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Too Long! Too long! TOOOO LONG!

Hello. I said I would write again after I had survived the end of the school year. Well…its been a teency few more days than that, but here I am, alive and well. Yes, I just used teency, deal with it.

First, some superficial losses to discuss.

  1. Weight. I’ve shed roughly 20 pounds since I began taking a look at calories and being more active/ running around instead of couching it all day. Its good, though I still have a long way to go. Continuing to eat smart and make good food decisions won’t be a problem for me, but keeping myself active will. DAMN YOU LAZYNESS WHY DO YOU TEMPT ME SO?!

  1. Hair. On the afternoon of June 20, I entered into a hair salon and requested a 3 inch trim. I was scalped, looked like a douche bag with a bowl cut, and thus had to take the rest off. As of today, it has grown out a bit, and I have for the most part adapted to it, though its still weird city!
The newly emoed me.

Now, I have gained some things as well. I’ve gained some new friends, and some new experiences. For instance, last night I played hand drums (and foot tambourine?) at the Shabbat Services held at the 6th and I synagogue in DC. It was a whim that originated through Twitter, created some nervousness, but ended up beautifully! I played with a rabbi from Yale named Lauren. She was extremely kind and immediately likeable. Her baby girl Noa(h) was way cute but super shy around me and my loud drummingness. Thus continues small children being frightened of me?

I’ve spent great nights all over the place the last few weeks: dinners in Dupont, concerts in Vienna, botanical garden picture safaris, and frustratingly rewarding adventures abound.

So dare I ask, how are you?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

FML

The end of the school year is way too busy. I've been writing exams, grading exams, and grading essays forever, and still have a mountain of stuff to do. THEN I get to clean my room/desk. This will be a momentous occasion. I shall report back when the battle is done. DON'T FIRE TILL YOU SEE THE WHITES OF THEIR...RESEARCH PAPERS!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Iran

Totally mesmerized and a bit freaked by what is going on in Iran. I just keep wondering...is this what should have happened in the US 8 years ago?

To be specific, I am mesmerized by the passion of these people. Not just protesting, but fighting for what they believe in. In America, we can become so apathetic to the workings of our government and had become so used to being screwed over, that even the peaceful protests which occured were considered to be full of "radicals." Maybe it just felt that way in my little wreck of a house in Blacksburg. I know I wish I had been in the scrum in DC on inauguration day 8 years ago, that's for sure.

The death toll is scary. Any death toll is scary. If it was falsified election results, what is going to keep the govt. there from killing more people to hold onto their place?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Update to the Galaxy Hut Post

Just so you know (and by 'you' i mean no one), on my last visit to the Hut, I was greeted with a pleasant and joyful surprise. The bartender, Nick, remembered me by first name. I'm officially a regular at my favorite bar!









How attractive are me and my work friends at prom?! Seriously, we make teaching look good.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

This also gives me hope in humanity!

Humanity!

I am really moved by this photograph from the Iran protests. According to BBC.uk, this is an injured Iranian police officer being helped out of the mele by a protestor. Humanity, people. IT EXISTS.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Shooting at the Holocaust Museum

I don't like how I feel right now. Its a familiar feeling.

As news broke about the shooting at VT two years ago, I found myself sitting at my desk in my classroom, furiously hitting refresh, freaking out, praying my friends were ok. I'm doing much the same thing as I try to find news about the museum shooting, and the feeling is the same: loneliness.

Its a lonely feeling, and vulnerable, and angry, and I hate it. Powerless to do anything, scared of what could have been, and angry that it happened.

As I said on Twitter: I'm so tired of violence.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Fly with me, Lesbian Seagull

Today I flew to Florida to visit my parents. Jeremy (the brother) and I decided to knock out a Mother's/Father's Day trip all at one time. Several birds, two stones, it works.

My seat was in the very back of the plane, sharing a row with a very quiet 19-ish red-head girl and a weird looking late 30's early 40's guy with a Bronx accent and a fanny pack. Oh yeah, you read that correct: FANNY PACK.

The first thing that sticks out about this guy is how friendly he's being to the girl. Incredibly friendly. Too friendly. He's either very polite...or mildly mentally challenged. Come to find out he's just super awkward and possibly an online predator.

As we land and are waiting to exit the plane, the guy starts questioning this girl. What does she do, where's she from, who's she flying with. She giggles uncomfortably like a 5-year-old and answers trying to be nice. I am squirming wishing I could run away from this episode of "To Catch a Predator." He asks her things like "Oh she's your twin? Do you go to school together? Same dorm? Oh you have a house? I bet you have parties all the time huh? heeheehee" GAVOMIT. I AM GAGGING AND VOMITTING.

Then it happens: he brings up Myspace. "Oh I bet you and your sister write on your Myspaces all the time! 'I love my sister, can't live without her! Hahaha...do you mind If I add your page?" He slides this last comment in so creepily I literally physically cringed. Not just my face; my entire body cringed. His tone changed immediately from joking to a yearning request. I rolled up the magazine I was holding and started wringing it to pieces in my hands. I COULD NOT HANDLE WHAT WAS OCCURING. THE AWKWARD WAS SUFFOCATING ME.

The kicker? SHE GAVE UP THE INFO. At least it sure sounded legit. Dude pulls out a pen and starts jotting down her name! She told him her full last name! He asked for an email address! She gave it to him! THIS WAS NOT A FIRST DATE. SHE WAS YOUNG TINY AND ATTRACTIVE. HE WAS WAY OVERWEIGHT, BALDING, CREEPY, SLEEZY, AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT HIM THAT WAS GOOD. YOU ARE AN IDIOT GIRL!!!

I let her out of the row first and blocked the aisle so he couldn't follow her. She was with several people when she got off the plane, so I didnt' feel like I needed to guard her.

Seriously. WTF. I need a shower. A "Crying Game" shower.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

To Dwindle, To Dissapear

Ok not really. For the last 2-3 months I've been trying a "lifestyle change." And no, kids, not that kind of lifestyle. The female gender is still the only one I'll let drive me insane, thanks.

What I mean is that for the first time ever, I'm trying to be...healthy. Its such a stupid move. For the last few years though, I've been sort of living the life of a barnacle on dry land. Barnacle living is not good for the human body or soul.

Therefore, I've been paying attention to what food and drink I put in my body, and have been more...again I hate this word...active. Riding a bike (already wrecked it once but friggin' love it), playing basketball, and all-in-all attempting to be less of a crustacean.

Are barnacles crustaceans? Here's Hoping.


PS I'm down 15 pounds. Who knew. If nothing else It'll make me faster behind my drum kit!

Monday, June 1, 2009

A Night at Galaxy Hut

As a steady stream of well dressed twenty-somethings stroll down Wilson street to get to Whitlows, Clarendon Ballroom, or any of the other seemingly endless, copy-cat bars in the Clarendon-Courthouse area, I often catch them eyeing the possibilities of a different type of night.

I sit in the booths at the Galaxy Hut and watch them squint, trying to see past the bright half-sun in the window. I love seeing this, as it reminds me that I too once lived unaware of the joys lying beyond the cardboard-cutout letters.

These joys I'm coveting, even hoarding, are simple. A good (but not perfect) jukebox. A huge selection of new-to-you beer. Strange art hanging on the walls. Video game tables in the corner. A red silo (compliments of Dreamo's) parked at the end of the alleyway patio. Simple, yet oddly elegant at the right time of night.

The name of my blog (Control the Jukebox) is a statement of fact I coined after several nights at this fine establishment. The full phrase goes something like "Control the Jukebox, control the night." Trademarks, copyrights, and full ownership belongs to yours truly, suckers. It'll be an album title one day.

The best nights in the Hut are ones spent controlling the jukebox. We play all the songs we'd be singing off key if we didn't have the real thing to guide us home. We argue each other's choices as if we could ever come to any understanding. We toast to shared memories and mourn lost chances to make new ones.

If we didn't, we'd be at the beck and call of someone else's dreams, their feelings of loss, of hope springing anew...

and that's what the Galaxy Hut means to me: making it whatever you want. A strange new place. A pillow you lay your head on at the bottom of a bottle. A fluke. A masterpiece.

My favorite hole-in-the-wall.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Did I really create this?

That title is not a fancy subconscious-laden rumination on the nature of ownership. It is simply me trying to figure out if I really want to start a blog.

I had a Livejournal for a few years. Its entries were, as Livejournals tend to be, completely self-absorbed, weepy, and all-in-all "emo" as the kids say these days.

So, if I’m starting one of these, its important for me to decide if I have something of value to offer the world! I have a Facebook page and a Twitter account. Shouldn't that be enough to contain my exhibitionist/voyeuristic urges?!?

I do think that being a teacher in 2009 provides a certain amount of hilarity and thought-provoking situations to bring to light, which may serve as enough ammunition to get me started.

I mean...I just signed a year book with "Have a Great Summer." Who else gets to end their work week that way?